28 October 2014

Destroying Temples for the Machine of War

Went to the opera last night.  Love, love, loved the singing.  The staging was confusing to say the least.  Norma is about the Druids verses the Romans.  But it could be any two warring factions that are or ever have faced each other in battle.  Druids worship nature gods that demand blood while the Roman's worship a re-named pantheon of gods they modeled after the Greeks.  The opening scene the stage hands and the older priest/father of Norma are instructing the peasants to carefully raise the white sparkly tree off the ground to decorate the hall and so Norma can cut the sacred sprig of mistletoe.  The people scream for war against the occupying Romans but Norma, a high priestess declared peace. Vows were broken, love was exchanged and then love was lost and given to another this angers the powerful Druid Priestess and she plots revenge first on her children (shades of Medea) then on him by killing the woman he has recently fallen out of love with her for, and then finally the two die together as both a token of their mutual love and atonement for breaking her vows.

Norma's love for Pollione kept her from going to war with Rome against the obvious wishes of her people.  They were tired of bondage.....and I'm not going to go for the easy pun there.  Though she was preaching peace from the altar her personal behavior and love for her Roman made her position and link to the physical waned  as she slowly left everything behind to prepare for war.  Look at the picture below, in the beginning the trees filled the large door, in this picture they are almost all gone.

Sondra Radvanovsky as Norma @ SFOpera 
Through out the opera, the trees go away and there are these white shapes on the stage that you really can't make out as anything other than junk.  The last thing that they had built was something that looked like a gun that would fit on a tank, but was twisted in a way so if it were a gun it would have blown up.   We were so enthralled by the singing we were confused by the bits and pieces which were being built for their "machine of war".  This was their sacred land, their holy place and they stripped it bare to have the pleasure to die for Priestess and country because she was scorned by her lover.  That is really simplistic of what happened and the message I took away from the opera.  In the last picture you can see what they made with their precious trees.


The horn is what I thought was a gun for the turret.
 Now, why would I spend a Sunday morning writing about an opera the night before when I could be snuggled safe in bed?  It got me thinking, how many temples/sacred places/items of worship have we destroyed in favor of our personal jihads or our public wars?  A jihad is a personal battle for improvement, to keep ourselves from becoming an infidel.  (Not all wars are fought with slings and arrows and outrageous fortunes.  Some are more insidious in slowly wearing down who and what we believe due to illness, work, family and/or friends.)  We all don't actually tear down temples, what would be wrong and illegal and a one way ticket to the bad place where they send those who hurt children and talk during the opera.  The idea for a journal discussion has been rolling around in my mind is the idea of putting other gods before Him.  You think you don't, but we all do.  No, we don't bow down before an altar and swear fealty to this god but it is a god none the less.  Some obvious ones are money, "things", hobbies (even the good ones if done to an extreme).  I keep trying to nail down what I think mine are, but nothing really comes out of the little box I keep my little secretes in (it's in my head).

I should probably define my gods.  Not just as a service for Him but for myself.  As before mentioned I have an unnatural and spiritual relationship with mega stuff Oreos.  I'm pretty sure you can put all sweet and fattening food on that list as well.  I love the opera,  The only thing that gets between me and the opera is church and I make sure there aren't any conflicts.  Money, or in my case the lack of money.  I spend days worrying abut how I can make the ends meet instead of laying my burdens at His feet and trusting He will help me pull the ends together.  I spend not enough time taking care of myself.  The lack of care that I show for my clay temple is appalling.  Lack of action is just as damaging as direct action sometimes. 

It took me a few hours and a nap for me to find an example.  I know I'm not above this but getting my brain to pull an example wasn't happening quick enough.  Stopped and got dressed for church, sat down on my bed to check my phone and there it was; the bed pulling me back in.  Gravity is even against me because I've had the bed long enough to have that worn in comfortable nest in the middle.  Sleep, sleep is my enemy.  Yes, I've mentioned in other blogs that I'm tired and I'm having problems sleeping and would really, really, really like to just crawl back into bed and never, ever get out again.  But, sleep, like the seductive Pollione, in a lot of ways has conquered me.  I have broken my vows of fealty to my covenants and have chosen to stay in my bed than in my sacred spaces....church...temple...meditation....(heaven help me) even exercise.   I don't have the option of turning my bed into a funeral pyre, but I can light a fire under me and try to rebuild, replant and reclaim my inner and outer sacred space;

Feast and Famine

Driving into work today listening to the radio I heard the story of the Medal of Honor inductee First Lt. Alonzo H. Cushing who died fighting with his men, refusing to leave them at the front alone even after receiving a bullet to the shoulder and one to the groin. (ouch!)  This battle was not in any war in our memory, it was Gettysburg. (Well, at least not in my memory, I'm not a reenactor...)
I have no doubt that he deserves it, just the groin shot alone would make him a recipient in my book, but common Washington!  We are smack dab in the middle of an economic crisis, political crisis, cultural crisis and you want to award a medal of honor to a man that has been resurrected in history and legend to what end?  Whose neck are you actually going to place the medal?  Yes, it needs to be awarded, valor and bravery should always be recognized, but is this actually a good use of your time?  Congress took the time to decide to push the limitations for the award for Lt. Cushing should be extended from three years to 150 years so they can award this rarified medal to a man/family that have no recollection of the event.  At 22, fresh out of the West Point I doubt he had time to get married, have children so his progeny can frame it an put it on their wall, or more than likely sell on eBay (oh, that was a little cynical, though not too far off the mark).

I'm not saying we should never recognize the heros of our past and present, that's not it at all, but there is a time for everything.  When we have a civil war going on in congress and the house every freaking day because no one is willing to embrace the concept that true democracy means no one is happy with the compromise we will be stuck in the economic, political, and cultural mire of our elected officials. When they spend time trying to reverse what the people have voted in, or when they push bills through because there is a sweet deal (meaning a load of cash) hidden in the fine print earmarked for one of their disavowed (during election years, anyway) special interest groups and the people be damned.  When they are more interested in their income instead of helping those without one and while schools fail and children go hungry we should be focusing on those issues instead of discussing whether or not a long dead Lt. should get his Medal of Honor.

Joseph of the Old Testament had a dream about seven fat cows and seven shriveled and skinny cows.  The pharaoh asked for the interpretation and Joseph spoke truthfully and said that Egypt would be blessed with bounty for seven years followed by a dearth of prosperity for the next.   The message was clear, in the good years you put your money in the bank, you spend your time strengthening your infrastructure so the people will have food aplenty during the lean times.  During the good years is the time when posthumous medal of honor winners should get their due, during the bad years each and every elected official should be working together to make sure that no one gets lost in the economic dust bowl of the 21st. century.

All that said, considering the snails pace of progress, and being this is probably one of the only few things they could agree on, it's probably as good as any time to grant it.  I'm just saying, well, if I ran the US......

23 October 2014

A New Path

Picture Courtesy of viajaryamar.wordpress.com.  Check it out!
Word came down yesterday that my job is soon to be by-by.  As a contractor I am subject to the whims of management.  They hired someone to do my job, my exact job.  I'm assuming they are paying them less, which is fine, but they could tell me that instead of making me believe I pissed someone with a long memory off and they want me to leave.  I'm worried that they didn't find the right kind of stupid for this job, but that's really not my concern, besides, who wants to work for a company that doesn't want them?  Seriously.  This is just the kick in the rump I need to get my certificate back and start tying to find a job in the medical profession.  I don't know what your opinion is about Obamacare, I love it.  It has caused an uptick for secondary testing which means more blood tests which means more need for phlebotomists.  To be fair though, I have insurance through one of my jobs so I haven't had to deal with the website or any of the Scheisters out there that are trying to make a buck on the process.  I hear it's frustrating, but in the end it will be worth it because then you can have your blood tested by me.

So here's the dilemma/opportunity this poses.  I got a not from my bank inviting me to apply for a loan.  So, they refinanced my car once and the lady told me I could do it again in a year or two to try and get a better rate (I went from 12% to 5% which I thought was pretty good).  I thought about this.  With unemployment looming in the distance I was worried about my debt.  If I could get enough on my refinance of my car to pay off the approximate $3k in debt I've accumulated it would be easier to pay one payment once a month then trying to keep track which one has the 90 day or the 180 day payment delay and one of them (PayPal Credit) will only let you defer payment on items over a certain amount so the other things that I've purchased that weren't under that amount need to be paid now.  So, I have a small window of time to decide "To Refinance or Not To Refinance".  Opinions are welcome on this topic.  Fiances scare me.  Not enough to not open credit accounts and use them confidently....

The current plan starting November 1 is as follows:

      1. Get re-certified
      2. Start shopping my resume for any kind of Hospital/Clinic job
      3. Finish the final chapter "House of Dragons" and prepare for submission for January 1
      4. Do NaNoWriMo my way and edit "Hearts of the Mothers" all the way through so it's about 60k words
      5. Get a job
      6. Get published
      7. Make oodles of money
      8. Move to Oregon/Washington and live happily ever after

What's really exciting is Mom now has a daytime caregiver that will allow me to leave the house and do this.  I only have to be at home and take care of Mom from 3:00pm and weekends.  It's going to be totally do-able! (Well, 1-5 anyway I have some control over those....yes I know control is an illusion)

There will be some belt tightening, {sigh}.  Isn't there always.  I'm going to take out the cable and put in one of those year specials from a different company that provides phone, internet and cable.  Or I'll see if having three different companies provide it is better.  Take some of the data off my phone and hopefully I won't run out before the end of the month so I can finish watching The Walking Dead on the treadmill at the gym.  I'm not giving up my gym membership, but I will be giving up the spa membership attached to it.  Sigh.  I think I'll miss that most of all.  I'll have to rely on the kindness of strangers to give me massages and facials.  If you'd like to donate to the charity of keeping me well massaged and beautiful, contact me and I'll tell you where to send the money.

Though life is a little crazy right now with the what-ifs it's still really really good and promising right now.  Wow, life has changed over the past few years.

15 October 2014

The Truth About Lying

Trust is a hot commodity these days.  If you can't trust your friends, how can you ever tell them apart from your enemies?  If you can't trust your family, how can you trust the world?  Words like trust, integrity, reliability, and so on.  These are fundamental building blocks for relationships.  It's a cold day when you realize a role-model has lied to you about EVERYTHING, you end up trusting NO ONE.  The truth may hurt, but it can be delivered in a less than brutal fashion, and then you can go forward and build greater relationships.  On a larger level if a street practiced kind yet exact honesty there would be harmony.  If it spreads to city, county, state, territory, national levels we will have peace because no one is hiding anything.

The flip side of this is: Do any of us really want the truth from our street, city, county, state, territory or nation?  Sometimes it's nice to be kept in the dark for plausible deniability or something to complain about later.  We might ask for the truth and they might even appear to be giving the whole truth and nothing but the truth but can you trust them?  Can you trust anyone?

Obviously, I'm dealing with trust issues at the moment.  Why I don't trust, whether or not I am trustworthy, is my integrity starched and pressed?  I'm wishing, again, that I can go back on my word with my Mom, I promised she could stay with me until she decides to leave.  I gave my word.  Everyone thinks I'm nuts.  I am nuts, I think we know that already. :-)  I feel I am trustworthy, it's just the rest of the world (and eternity) that I'm trying to trust.

I'd ask you to wish me luck, but I don't know if I can trust you to be sincere....