Rectal Cranial Inversion Syndrome

I suffer from two unknown syndromes.  RCI (Rectal Cranial Inversion) is an intermittent syndrome where my head somehow finds it's way up my a**.  Lately it's been in a constant condition that is starting to feel like the new norm.  The second is FFS (fat finger syndrome) where it doesn't matter how hard you try to hit the right key you always hit the one next to it.  And with my current state of nails, even a larger keyboard poses a problem.

Why am I sharing this?

In Frailty to Faith I was talking about how scared I am about starting school Monday (Feb 5, 2018).  And I'm sure you can understand that given where my head has been lately.  I got my confirmation from school today to start June 4, 2018.  Somehow my lack of clear thought and fat fingers signed me up for the wrong class!  If I can't extricate my head from my rear soon, I may never be able to watch Jeopardy again.

I'm terrified.  I don't know if I'm going to get the right date at BAMA, I don't know if I can financially survive until June 4.  Ideas like Lyft, Home Instead to be a granny nanny, Trader Joe's to work the register and I'm still trying to get back on board with IHSS to keep my insurance. I know it will only be for a few months, that is if I can keep the job with my head so firmly up my fanny they don't fire me for blatant stupidity.  I'm not being hard on myself, trust me, this isn't the first RCI adventure in the last week or so.  The others are more embarrassing than this one.  I seriously felt my IQ drop at least 60 points....it was really, really, stooopid bad.

Faith is the key.  I keep telling myself to have faith, to have courage and to just trust in the Lord....but I'm still scared.  I tell myself I have faith, I have faith, I have faith.  Courage, like faith, is an action word but I don't know how to act.  Trust is a rare commodity for me, but I am trying.
While working on the resolution for this kerfuffle I blundered myself into,  it occurred to me there are things that I can do in those four months that would really be useful and would give me time to piece my brain back together again.  So, if money wasn't a problem, would it really hurt if I had to wait until June?  I dunno.

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Resolution: I was able to change my class back to Monday.  Now I just need to get rent covered and everything will be fine again.....well, once I pull my head out anyway.

The Truth About Lying

Trust is a hot commodity these days.  If you can't trust your friends, how can you ever tell them apart from your enemies?  If you can't trust your family, how can you trust the world?  Words like trust, integrity, reliability, and so on.  These are fundamental building blocks for relationships.  It's a cold day when you realize a role-model has lied to you about EVERYTHING, you end up trusting NO ONE.  The truth may hurt, but it can be delivered in a less than brutal fashion, and then you can go forward and build greater relationships.  On a larger level if a street practiced kind yet exact honesty there would be harmony.  If it spreads to city, county, state, territory, national levels we will have peace because no one is hiding anything.

The flip side of this is: Do any of us really want the truth from our street, city, county, state, territory or nation?  Sometimes it's nice to be kept in the dark for plausible deniability or something to complain about later.  We might ask for the truth and they might even appear to be giving the whole truth and nothing but the truth but can you trust them?  Can you trust anyone?

Obviously, I'm dealing with trust issues at the moment.  Why I don't trust, whether or not I am trustworthy, is my integrity starched and pressed?  I'm wishing, again, that I can go back on my word with my Mom, I promised she could stay with me until she decides to leave.  I gave my word.  Everyone thinks I'm nuts.  I am nuts, I think we know that already. :-)  I feel I am trustworthy, it's just the rest of the world (and eternity) that I'm trying to trust.

I'd ask you to wish me luck, but I don't know if I can trust you to be sincere....