You know how life goes, your down on your luck, you have a dour outlook and life gives you back what you put out; crap. I'm learning this, or rather, been taught this, over and over again. Living Buddha, Living Christ tells me I need to meditate to gain mindfulness in conjunction with Christ. The When Anger Hurts book concurs with meditation to stifle the dark swirling emotions so I've been 'chanting' I Know Heavenly Father Loves Me from the Primary songbook using each phrase as a cue to breathe in and out and focus on the images it invokes. Or Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow, but either way it's the calming and security that I love from these exercises. It's keeping me from spiralling me out of control. So, my outlook as been a little more hopeful. In order to to keep hope alive in my everyday life I've added a Hope journal to my journal and I mindfully choose the ideas/concepts/items I am hopeful for. Just hoping is a new start for me. (Yea Me!) So, what does all this have to do with my life? I'll tell you....- My sister has been promising me and promising me a job with the company she works with. She has a had this possible job for me for months now. It's a fast growing technology company and they need someone to do grunt type work. It's, as she calls it, brain numbing, but I have enough going on not to want something that's going to take a lot of brain power. And the plus side....it is real money, forty hours a week, no pressure, no required overtime, etc. So, win-win-win for me. Thank you C!
- I am now in charge of all of Mom's hours again, so, again money. Not that I only hope for money, but trust me, I'm very mindful when it is absent. I'm looking forward to being able to buy a few necessities as well as a few niceties. Thank you Mom!
- This one is the most surprising, touching and generous act I had never expected. P. was talking about selling his car because he doesn't want to have to put out extra money for something he feels he can live without. Mom probed him as to what he would charge me if I were to buy the car. Without hesitation he says's "If Aunt Pam needs it I'll give it to her." Yea, I know, my jaw bounces off the floor every time I think of it. He's my favorite right now. True they have to teach me how to better handle a manual transmission, and though she doesn't know it, my best friend is going to have to teach and sit with me as I try to navigate the hills of San Francisco, but I feel like I'm up for the challenge. To sweeten the gift, it needs about $1k of work, which C. is going to front me the money so it's running and safe for me learn on. And the ABSOLUTE best thing? It has AIR CONDITIONING.. You would understand if you've lived in California during heat waves and not have air conditioning for over 8years or so.
I change my mind, don't pinch me. If I'm dreaming I don't want to wake up because I don't want to leave this world of hope that seems to be springing up around me.
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